Man. It has been a loooong time since I've posted here. That is, sadly, not because of lack of crazy stories to tell, but instead is due to lack of time to tell them. Here's one for you though, if anybody even still follows this journal, while I have a couple slow minutes...
Gent called today saying he had a chinchilla which had been bitten by a dog. Wanted to know how much enrofloxacin he should give, rattled off several doses to the receptionist, who verified with me that we will not prescribe medication or give doses to an an animal we've not seen for the problem being treated (and in fact have never seen at all for anything), as doing so is illegal. Recommended he have the chinchilla seen, since bite wounds can be a very serious problem (totally reasonable to expect broken bones in a dog-bitten rodent, and no amount of antibiotic is gonna fix that!). He declined an appointment.
Gent called back later and I answered. He asked if he got prescription for enro could we fill it. I said that if we received a prescription from another veterinarian for a product we carry, we could fill it. He then claimed to be a physician and asked if he could write a prescription for us to fill. No; physicians cannot write prescriptions for non-human animals (I refrained from saying 'and if you were actually a physician, you'd know that), and veterinary clinics can neither prescribe nor fill prescriptions for humans. He then asked how much 10 mLs of 25mg/mL enrofloxacin would cost. I explained that 25 mg/mL is not a concentration available on the market, and is therefore not a product I stock (and refrained from saying that if he was actually a physician, he should know that). He asked again if he had to have a veterinarian prescription. I said yes, you must have a prescription to leally purchase prescription medications; your pet must be seen for a veterinarian to legally prescribe medications; a physician cannot legally prescribe to non-human animals; veterinians cannot legally prescribe to humans; and I WILL NOT BE DOING ANYTHING ILLEGAL FOR YOU.
He hung up, and (surprise) did not show up before closing with a script, legal or otherwise.